Studying abroad in the Fall was truly one of the most memorable experiences I have ever had. I thought it was going to be a blast, but it actuality, it was one of the most challenging things I have ever undertaken. Being separated from family and friends was really, really difficult. The separation was difficult, but even more so was that when I needed a face from home, I could only access them through Skype. Regardless, I think that my study abroad experience taught me more about life and myself than anything I have ever done. When one travels abroad, all the ties one has are severed, and all facets of identity are either eliminated, or reduced. In that respect, it was both revealing and terrifying. Stripped of all identities I associated with myself, I became in-tuned with a very real, version of myself. Sometimes shit got a little too real, but I made it through, and for that, I am grateful and stronger. I really feel that in losing my identities, I was able to more solidly grasp me.
Re-immersing myself in Southwestern was super difficult; it was a chance to find out who were really my friends. I lost some people from my life that I thought were some of my closest friends, but on the upside, those to whom I remained friends, I am even closer, and I met a couple of really amazing new people who are now some of the most important people in my life. I think its really just a perfect example of how life can completely be turned upside down, but as long as I stay true to me, as long as I continue to have dignity and respect for myself and those I care about, I can emerge from any situation with hard earned knowledge and of course, some scars, but scars are what makes life worth living. Without pain, we cannot truly know our own depths or our highest heights; pain shapes people more than joy, but in the end, surviving pain is the most beautiful thing one can hope to do.
This is a super depressing post thus far, which is silly, because I did have fun in Ireland, and this has been one of the coolest and most interesting semesters. I feel though, that the lessons I learned most fully in Ireland were the difficult ones; with that said, I think that those difficult lessons are the reason I am so happy and content right now- I have realized that with life you have to pick your battles, and sometimes its just best to let your troubles roll by, because honestly, life is way too beautiful to be bogged down.
As for Paideia, I think it was one of my favorite classes this semester- the discussions we have are always a ton more thought provoking that the one's I have in some of my less exciting classes. And I think we have such a varied set of interests in our group, so any topic we explore is approached from a myriad of different perspectives, which is cool as hell. I really liked the discussions on homosexuality, gender differences, and also the soda discussion on the mall. I enjoyed discussing my topic on gender difference in the brain (even though I was half asleep) because gender is one of the most defining aspects of identity in our culture, and is so intrinsically tied to our social constructions that to approach the issue from an egalitarian way, focused on differences as equal, was super awesome. Side note: I think there are some really strong, smart women in or Paideia group which made this discussion, and the entire experience so much more enriching and empowering.
So that's that,
Cait
